My brother was really disappointed tonight.  He went to a lot of effort to buy Hallowe’en inspired sweets such as wiggly worms, snakes, eyeballs and the like.  He is in his own house on a main street and was excited by the way the british have begun to adopt this essentially American tradition of celebrating Hallowe’en with the likes of dressing up and trick or treating.  

No one actually knocked at his door to receive these goodies, so as a last resort he took the box of sweets and went in search of some children (accompanied by their parents of course) and fiercely thrust it at them with a grumpy, “well no one else seems to want them”

Another phenomenon that this “holiday” (not to me but I am a traditionalist) brought about was that when I went to the fancy dress shop to buy the essential green hairspray. The shop was soo busy that it was one in, one out! After a ten minute wait outside (I didn’t so much object to that as I know I am not so important as to be unable to wait 10 minutes for something.  I am always greatly amused when upon handing in a prescription I am asked whether I would like to go away and come back to collect a prescription later as the wait is about 10 minutes.  It is almost blissful having 10 minutes to idle away looking at what lotions and potions could change my life completely) I entered the cavern of dreams.

Fancy dress shops are much like most shops I enter in that they promise much and offer little in my size or price range.  I did stop to enquire about the possibility of buying costumes for a larger person and was reassured that sizes for large should (note should) fit someone up to a size 18.  So maybe this time next year when I have lost a little more weight I might be able to pour myself into an XXL.

I was informed by the helpful girl in the witch costume stood on a chair trying to keep the shop moving that in order to get to the hairspray it was best to join the queue for the tills as it went past the hairsprays anyway. I was so flummoxed by this instruction that I completely forgot to buy the black lipstick my brother had requested (he’s not an 11yr old Emo, but a 30yr old boy wanting to do fancy dress one last time) and ended up having to spend £4.95 on a black lipstick for him at Superdrug rather than repeat the madness.

There are some things that are worth idling away 10 minutes for, and I'm not sure that black lipstick would have been one.